Conquering the ancient world ain't easy

Europa Universalis: Rome is a historical grand strategy game made by Paradox Interactive, and it will be the end of me. Like most Paradox-developed games there is a steep learning curve, but once you catch on to the basics and slide into the groove the ancient world is yours to conquer. Players assume the control of a selected country and deal with almost every aspect of it's inner stability and outward conquests - in other words: hella micromanagement. This game has worked it's way under my skin. It's gotten to the point that whenever I'm away from the game I'm spending a great deal of my mental processes contemplating and calculating my Kingdom's next course of action. Sad?

NO! I CONQUER! I CRUSH THE SKULLS OF MINE ENEMIES!

I'm only making this post because I just recently learned how take screen shots... and to brag - there, I said it. Though my country has been on a roll, I'm unsure of what to do next...

Ok. Check this out... I am playing as the country PONTUS - located in modern day Turkey. This map shows the political boundaries at the start of the game. Pontus is purple.

Tee hee, how cute. What a cute little purple country. Purple is awesome. But look at the rest of this map! What a mess. What we need is stability! We need a country that can solidify the land, put it to good use. We need might to be rid of the barbarians (grey area)! We need a country to crush the petty quarrels of lesser provinces (Lands with stripes.) Go Go Gadget: PONTUS!

POW!! Purple is beautiful! What eye candy! And it took almost 100 game-years. Not too shabby. I just finished a war with Armenia (RED in the above map) so, naturally Pontus is recovering some much-needed Manpower.

This down provides me with the opportunity to figure out my next course of action - a matter that is going to take some extensive planning. Which way shall the borders expand? This is a tough call.

Southeast is a possibility. All the yellow belongs to the Seleucid Empire. We USED to be allies but they broke ties with Pontus five years ago - sonsabitches. The Seleucid military force is mighty but not nearly as big to adequately cover the entire empire. So I could slowly begin to move southeast and pick off yellow provinces as I go - I'd start off with that big yellow ZIT that is right smack dab in the middle of my current empire. Seleucid's stability is pretty low and civil wars break out all the time, so it may be possible to kick 'em while their down. The downside is that they have other allies with other big scary countries like Egypt. Egypt has war elephants. You don't mess with war elephants.

Or...

I've entertained the notion of going North/Northwest, but really only because... it's there. The land is pretty useless and not very populated - hence, poor tax income. I'm also allied with the olive green and blue countries. Breaking alliances with them would result in higher infamy points for Pontus, which ups the threat of other countries being all like, "Hey, you're a big jerk. I'm gonna rally up my hombres and come and gitcha!" I fear this reaction the most from the Seleucid Empire because their hombres have war elephants. You don't mess with war elephants.

Or...

You're still reading? wow. Well... since you're still interested I'll give you some breaking news: I was leaning most with going west, but Rome is on the other side of the Greek isles - and that is a beast I don't even want to disturb right now. Typing this post has helped me to realize that the Seleucid Empire (The butt ugly yellow country... oh man Yellow is so annoying and ulgy) is currently the greatest threat. Dissolving an alliance with me was their single biggest mistake. It's on, baby.

I was originally going to ask your ignorant opinion on any advice or ideas, but screw you, I've got it all figured out. Thanks anyways... bum.