Because I'm struggling to use my own words...

"And let us not forget about elephantiasis, an infestation by microscopic worms that wriggle into the lymphatic system, causing an accumulation of lymph so massive it forces the victim to stumble about on legs the size of tree trunks, carrying his scrotum before him in a wheelbarrow.” - John Gambel

***

Steve Martin: When I was 10 years-old I knew I wanted to make movies, but I knew NO ONE was going to give me that. So, I started putting away one dollar every week of my life. If I missed a week I made it up later - From age 10 on. And now, you're looking at enough to get us started: $2,184

Jamie Kennedy: But, movies cost millions of dollars to make.

Steve Martin: That's after gross-net-deduction-profit-percentage-deferment-10% of the NUT! CASH: Every movie costs $2,184!


***

Bruce Dern: Me, I can barely get my family to eat together; but you - you've got your family dreaming together.

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"Art is just the last three letters of fart" - One of the guys from The Butthole Surfers, I think.

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"Mikey! Vulgar!" - Mrs. Roberto

Life Altering Conversation

Here's a short conversation I overheard several years ago. I'm still coming down from profundity of it:

Eric: ... komodo dragons.
Matt: Aren't they in the desert?
Eric: Nah, the jungle.
Matt: Oh. Well, if you put one in the desert, he'd be there.