This man is my blood.

Say hello to my great-uncle Richard. Hello, great-uncle Richard. Thanks to my Grandmother's tireless dedication to genealogy research he and I have finally become acquainted - Hello, great-uncle Richard.

Let's take a brief moment to discuss the impression that this photograph gives. Firstly, it's very noir, yes? Therefore, right off the bat, we can deduce that my great-uncle Richard was a badass. Awesome. Now that this is established let's probe deeper. The picture was taken at a slight angle which convincingly gives him a dominating presence. Look at the confidence in which he holds the rifle, body rigid and ready to take action - This man is callous, seasoned and knows no fear. Look at the size of his hands. He's not afraid to get them dirty. In fact, that's how he prefers it. Look at the stern look in his face. He's alert, focused and ready to grease some commie scum. I feel safe knowing great-uncle Richard is keeping watch. He means business.

This man is my blood. He stands tall - and armed - among the other heavy hitters in my family line. My family tree can destroy your family tree.

soda.

Crack for kids

My cousin asked me the following questions for a project in school. I like these kinds of moments where I can stop and spend a few moments to take tally of what's currently going on.

1. What do you think are the major responsibilities of being a parent?

- Making sure your kid isn't a jerk.
- Being fully aware that you are raising the next generation of humanity.

2. What do you think are the major rewards of being a parent?

- I like to think far ahead to when our kids are grown and they're reminiscing about family vacations, holidays, triumphs, tragedies... just knowing and feeling that their parents helped raise them to live a full and meaningful life thus far.

3. What changes occurred in your life when you became a parent?

Time spent with my significant other is much more valuable and precious.

4. What is one joy of parenting that stands out for you?

When complete strangers (grown men, even!) will stop dead in their tracks and compliment on how cute and well-behaved my kid is. This helps me realize that we must be doing something right!

5. What is one problem you have experienced as a parent?

My patience is terrible. TERRIBLE! Here I was before parenthood thinking that I've got nerves of steel and a level head. HA! How ignorant I was!

6. What do you wish you had known before becoming a parent?

Be prepared to be tired every single day for the rest of your life. No, really. Fatigue is a truly foreign concept before parenthood.

7. What is one thing that your child/children love doing?

The Wiggles have stormed into our lives with unstoppable force. It's like CRACK to this kid! It's the first thing he asks for when he wakes up, the last thing he mumbles to himself as he's falling asleep for the night. Sustenance, nourishment, motherly coddling - it all takes the back seat to The Wiggles. Unreal.

EUIII Muscowy Chapter 1 - In medias res

Overall, I think Europa Universalis III proves my theory that there are two types of people in the world:

- Those who play for fun
- Those who play to win

How does one “win” EUIII? Don’t think of the game’s objective as a single victory, but more so an ongoing evolution of gameplay. It’s kind of like the classic situation with the board game Monopoly: You can play forever and ever and ever but the game never really seems to end, you just keep going trying to place as many hotels as possible, conspire with other players, or, try your darndest to keep your head above water. Instead of representing oneself as a Top Hat or a Scotty Dog the player selects a nation to control.

Introducing:

The year is 1511 AD, one hundred and thirteen years since the beginning of this - my first attempt at a – grand campaign. Muscowy’s state religion is Orthodox, type of government is Despotic Monarchy.

Under this system, kings and their attributes are chosen at random when the current ruler dies. Several kings have come and gone since the game’s start, causing the blue difficulty bar to tilt in relation to how many stars the leader can lend to our cause. King Fyodor III is legit, meh, so-so. In this present situation I’d like to see more stars under Military, but, as with the rest of this game, you’ve got to roll with what you’ve got…

And what exactly does the rising power known as Muscowy currently have in terms of land?
(Clicking the pictures will enlarge them)

Muscowy is beige. The clump here in the middle as well as the three provinces to the west makes a total of nineteen provinces. Not too shabby. I could’ve played more aggressively in the beginning, but I’m content with where I’m at now - There are drawbacks to expanding so quickly. Having four sea-side provinces, whereas having none in the beginning, is a definite perk. Plus, it’s cool that I have to zoom out in order to see all of Muscowy.

We’ll discuss neighbors and other players in this eastern Europe/western-central Russia Theater later on.

Be it known, that the following topics will make sense when the time comes. What I’m doing right now is taking the pieces out of the box and placing them on the board.


Financially, Muscowy ain’t doin too hot. My main source of income, luckily, comes from taxes. However, trade and production efficiency is terribly low. These numbers will go up as higher technology levels are achieved (The colored bars on the right.)

It’s a long story but technology research – labeled “investments” on the scroll - is slow due to all the money being sucked into the treasury, thus giving me a hellacious inflation rate – everything costs an extra 45% of the base price, and growing annually. Also, due to the country’s physical location the game puts it in the “Eastern Tech Group” which means my research is slightly slower than the rest of Western Europe. But, steps can be taken to adjust both of these factors and turn things to our favor, which we will get into shortly(IMPORTANT).


Muscowy’s military roster looks much more attractive than its 16th century financial Excel Spreadsheets. I’ve got five separate armies, each with 6,000 men. Three of these are comprised of infantry because they are faster to train and cheaper to maintain. Two armies consists solely of 6,000 Calvary units. These may be more expensive to maintain but are invaluable in traversing the vast terrain of western/central asia (IMPORTANT). I’ve had this setup for most of the game and they’ve served me relatively well both in offence and defensive maneuvers. As always, there could always be more military presence, but the budget is stretched thin as it is. This is where diplomacy becomes a crucial factor (IMPORTANT).


THE GOOD GUYS
Here’s what the map is showing you:
(1) Muscowy in all her might and majesty
(2) Hungary recently sought us in forming an alliance. They have a strong land force and a growing navy. Distance may be an issue, though.
(3) Poland and Muscowy have been an alliance for the past fifty years or so. They have a good military, and have come to our aid many times. They too feel at odds about…

THE BAD GUYS
(4) Lithuania. I’ve sought time and time again to ease relations with them but they just don’t want to cooperate. So I take comfort in knowing that Poland (whatever their beef may be) and Muscowy flank this stubborn nation on two of its three sides. And when the time is necessary we WILL strike this country (IMPORTANT)

And just who is this nation on Lithuania’s southeast border? Who is this grey mass? Ladies and Gentlemen, the main antagonist to this series, and threat to the security and survival of Muscowy:



Coming soon
Chapter Two: The Barbed Web of Diplomacy

The Grand Campaign

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Introduction blog entry of my current game of Europa Universalis III: In Nomine. Through proceeding blog posts it is my intention to follow the drama and excitement(!!) of playing as the great nation of Muscowy!

Normally this type of thing is for the game’s message board - called “After Action Reports” - but I thought it would be a cool challenge to try to explain to a lay audience, in narrative form, the complexities of the game’s mechanics and put into words the epic drama (no, seriously) that is inherent with devoting many, many, many, many hours to playing as a single nation. So, I will attempt to keep it simple, relevant and totally not boring.

Briefly, Europa Universalis III: In Nomine (EUIII) is a historical grand strategy game. You can pick from a list of hundreds of countries to play. The Grand Campaign runs from 1399AD to 1821AD, though you can always pick a starting date any time in between. The cool thing about how this game is that it too flows with history. So while you’re struggling to seize control of the Balkans, there’s a good chance that, at the same time, Spain is colonizing the new world, and France and England are constantly in conflict with each other. How do you use all of this to your advantage? The game gives a lot of data and it’s up to the player to make wise and timely decisions.

EUIII is a fun game. I enjoy it. A little intimidating sometimes, but still satisfying to play. My current game as Muscowy (Modern-day western Russia-ish) has been a great learning experience. This is one of the reasons why I’m going to try to follow through with upcoming blog posts. The other is that right now I’m in a very interesting tactical position, and the outcome is hinged on making a single critical decision: Go or no go.

Stay tuned!

For those buried under snow this day:

Three down, eternity more to go!

Our anniversary was this week, and it got me thinking:

We make an interesting pair, Sarah and I. We receive comments all the time about how we "balance" each other. And this is true, though this is not as simple of a balancing act as one would initially think. Here, let me show you:

Here is a classic representation of the scales of justice.

Pretty straight forward, right? In the application of a couple "balancing" each other out it's easy to see each person sitting indian-style on each side of the scale while winking and blowing kisses to each other. Awww, how cute.

But, this scenario is also a bunch of CRAP!

Here's how I see Sarah and myself:

Not only is this contemporary mobile way cooler, it is also a much more accurate representation of how we do, indeed, balance each other out. Sarah and I are complex individuals, we feel deeply. Think of the idiom "Still Waters Run Deep" and then add a couple hundred more fathoms and you've got the idea. The reason why we may sometimes seem unapproachable is because we're always so busy being deep and complex and mysterious. That, and we're totally shy, but...

I'd like to think that these deep reserves of emotion is the unifying force in our marriage, it is what makes me look forward. If we were only treading on the surface - clinging to the more shallow attributes and interests - we wouldn't have made it even this far. This is because neither one of us ever pictured ourselves being with the type of person we are currently with. Did that make sense? Here, let me do another illustration.

*please note: The following pictures are intentionally of inanimate objects and not of a specific type of person or individual. Even if I had posted the world's hunkiest chunk of ManHunk I still would've gotten in big fat trouble for posting some mediocre-looking female celebrity. I know how you women are. And just by declaring "I know how you women are" also just got me in big fat trouble. Therefore - to digress slightly - women are nothing but trouble.

Nick thought he'd end up with someone like

this collection of watercolors and oil paintings

Sarah thought she'd end up with someone like

this organized, stiff and professional workplace.

But, alas, we didn’t “end up” with each other. We worked hard to get where we are today, and it’s been a real trip. Every day is a new adventure in the land of matrimony and I am grateful that Sarah is the one here to experience it with me. And if teaming together to raise the super-force that is Mitchell isn’t enough to forge our bonds even stronger then I can’t even comprehend what could - Man, this kid is crazy.

Really, I could go into this huge psychology discourse to explain why it is Sarah and I totally rule together. But, the fundamental reasons for our awesomeness are that our hearts are in the right place and tightly knit together. We share the same long-term and long-long-long-long term goals. She’s a wonderful person who feels deeply for others. She works very hard and doesn’t gripe about it. She loves her little boy. She loves her family. She loves her in-laws (I know, right!?) Her smile makes me smile. She is the strong arm.

She’s lucky to have me - HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

The Air in Meager Valley - February 2010 BRR Mixtape Brigade

Feb 16, 1908

Our hope is frail, now. Be there any sound louder than a whisper and it will dissipate, swirl away right before our eyes. It is gray all around. This curtain of snow masks the detail of anything that is ahead. The surrounding ranges continue to exist; their outlines rising and sliding, dancing as if in mockery. Or is it encouragement? Puzzling. The unbroken trail before us will prove challenging. But, oh, what a place, this valley.

Our supplies are dwindling, gear worn and weathered, grub almost gone. We’ve ceased lunching altogether. Set mealtimes only encourage eating more than what is essential to sustain. Roseblood is skittish, but continues to bob her head to the rhythm of unheard ‘ol timey ditties.

Indeed, there is something queer about this valley.

The wooden sign before the broken town two days past read “Meager Valley.” Its abandoned structures were in shambles. Windows were shattered, the roofs collecting and spilling snow drifts. Rusted store signs dangled haplessly, sheltered wooden walkways gray and splintered with age. And yet, the place did not feel vacant. I dare say haunted, though I haven’t the morale to entertain such idiocy; Ernie would certainly lose his head at the very mention. I find it necessary to conclude that this town grew very quickly and then vanished like fingers pinching out a candle’s flame.

There is an air here in Meager Valley. Intoxicating, almost. The wind that blows on our backs, coming from the abandoned town, carries more than wintry chill; it carries the echoed wills and ambitions of all of those that have ever passed through. Even the ranges that now surround us seem to be carrying us onward. Not like the sirens of Homer’s Odyssey. No. The mystery is not before us, it is already here. The air carries strange vibrations, undercurrents, unseen ribbons of influence. As if the souls that once lived in that ramshackle town followed us out and now inhabit these very peaks, and in blissful solitude sing out with strength and salve, smeared somewhat by distance and wind, but still ring true.

Yes.

We can make the journey.