Oddments-Turned-Bookmarks

This find is a bit of a coincidence since I too am in the process of being retrofitted for new lenses. According to Eye Masters, my current prescription is a step too strong for my precious far-sighted eyes, resulting in inconvenient eye aches after reading for an extended period of time. These aches first came to my attention several weeks ago while reading Saul Bellow’s Herzog. At first I thought Bellow’s narrative too advanced, too dense, too mind-blowingly awesome for my pwecious wittle bwain to handle. But, in all, it turned out that I’ve been walking around wearing the wrong Rx for the past four years, culminating into the irksome headaches of the past couple of weeks.

Perhaps Allison *…*’s case was different. Poor Allison. There she was, afflicted with Amblyopia, completely devoid of depth perception: Shouting at the dinner table when a 12-inch voice would suffice; grasping for a slice of pizza seven feet away; gazing through binoculars at the pages of a book fifteen inches away. Something had to be done.

So she went to visit Dr. at Vision Center.

There she received a professional assessment and departed with this new prescription. Success! The new lenses and lovely turtle-shell frames marked a turning point in Allison’s life. She was so excited that she immediately made way to the store and bought the very first item on her wishlist: Saul Bellow’s Ravelstein. But modern medical practices cannot anticipate human error. In her rush of excitement, Allison slipped the Rx just inside of the front cover, instead of the bookstore’s receipt – putting the later in an envelope of important documents secured to her hip. Suddenly, on the way back to her car, a pack of Kodiak bears rush Allison. But she’s able to fight them off because she’s a ninja, dropping Ravelstein in the process. The bears run off, Allison flees, and then some bystander finds the book – and the Rx – and sells it to the Half-Priced bookstore on the other side of town. He made $.17, the bears ate from a honey pot, and Allison was robbed of reading Saul Bellow.